Tuesday, December 10, 2013


From start to finish this experience felt like a dream.
Sometimes a nightmare, but mostly a dream.  Tonight I went to
Sleep No More.  Not only did I get to see this incredible interactive
three hour performance, but I got to see it with a little guest star. 
 N to the P to the mother bleeping H.  Neil Patrick Harris. 
Boom. Mind blown.

I was so nervous to go in considering you're just wandering around 
alone in what looks like a haunted abandoned Disney ride, but it was
truly magical... in a weird demonic Macbeth meets Coven sort of way.
I mean... I had a lesbian experience, felt a man's touch.. Sadah was fed 
milk in a private room.. there was an orgy I supposedly overlooked. 
Lots happened and I will attempt to take you through 
it all without ruining too much.

In true Sadah form, we were VIP on the one time NPH guest star night.
There was a looong line outside of the McKittrick Hotel in Chelsea, but since
Sadah knows everyone we got to stand on the other side of the velvet rope 
where.. we were the only two people.  Guys are speaking into miniature
ear pieces saying that we were there.. we get magical special stamps and we 
head on in.  After nearly killing ourselves trying to find our way in what
felt like the pitch black, we walk into this smokey 1920's lounge and what is
waiting for us?  Oh just a huge bottle of St. Germain and champagne along with 
rows and rows of coupes!  I started laughing because it was just so ridiculous!

Eventually everyone else comes in and we receive our masks and.... we go in!
Yes, everyone who is not an actor has to wear this creepy phantom duck mask.
It... was awesome.  Basically you are let out of this elevator and are just suppose
to run a muck all around these spaces that are a set designer's wet dream.  You 
are free to go through drawers, books, look through photo albums, go into
any room you'd like.  It was so creepy and so well done.  

The first half hour I would say, you're just running around going to all
the different floors and discovering all the different rooms.  The remaining
two and a half hours are spent stalking the shit out of the actors.
Sadah was pulled away twice by two different actors and was force fed 
liquids.  She was on lock down in a room and was told to remove her mask.
You're not allowed to speak so it's really not as awkward as you think.
The woman told her something about the moon and the stars and then 
spoon-fed her tea.  Normal.

My favorite room was the one with all of the different herbs hanging
upside down, with mason jars everywhere and vintage crates. 
That... or the room with the headless baby dolls hanging from the ceiling.
The baby dolls might have won.  I mean if you can't appreciate
a headless doll mobile hanging over an empty crib we can't be friends.

My shining moment was when NPH started making out with one of the witches
and when they stopped the witch ran away and I followed her (as you're suppose to).
So it was me, a guy and the witch in a dark corner and she turns to me and grabs 
my face and growl-whispers "they're all gunna die!" and kisses my neck...
WITH TONGUE!  And like a defeated child I frowned under my mask, held 
my hands together and walked away as she cackled at me like a rude person.
Honestly.. it just felt like being on a Brooklyn bound L train on a Saturday night 
after 1am.  So I really wasn't caught off guard.

I really thought I was going to be too scared to leave Sadah's side but we
ended up splitting up pretty early and experiencing a lot of different scenes. 
Again.. there was an orgy scene that I was unaware of that involved the three
witches and a half man half animal thing.  Also.... people got very naked. 
So that happened.  All in all it was pretty unbelievable.

I don't want to give away everything so please.  Go see it!

After it was over, and the nice actor man held me during the last scene,
 everyone met in the lounge for a drink and NPH sang a few songs for us.  
He was arms length from Sadah and I.. just singing show tunes.. 
and being Barney Stinson.

Ironically enough, I am going to sleep well tonight!
(all those stairs...... and champagne and St. Germain... man.)


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